Report my Begonia Rex

I sense that my begonia rex is more and more unhappy these days. Today I decide to examine it.

I take it out and within in my expectation, the roots are very weak and not developing very well. I have to repot it.

This is the soil mix I use this time. Last time I used more peat moss and potting soil. This time I make it grittier.

Almost equal part of peat, potting soil, pumice, red volcanic rock, black volcanic rock, perlite and vermicast. 

I love the feeling of touching soil. It’s so relaxing.

Add all the soil with the begonia.

Give it a through watering. I use the water from my rooting bottle that was old water safer for

Leave it at the best area for tropical plants a southwest outdoor corner without direct west sunlight. It’s cool and humid.

Hope it will live happily ever after!

My Dental Implement Ordeal II

This post was supposed to post on 2013, but it was somehow on draft, and I post it now to record one of my darkest period in my life.

As I mentioned in my last post that I was recovering. But things turned down hill a week ago after I went to a kite flying session with my daughter. In the night of the day, my half throat, ear and somewhere in side my cheek I think angrily inflamed. My ear was full and my half head and throat were in pain. I was totally in panic and didn't know what was going on.

Night time was most miserable because the fullness of my ear made me feel suffocating and awoke. The ear was so bad till the point that I heard ringing sound.

I went from A & E to ENT specialist, all the doctors told me that everything was fine, my sinus and throat was health and the fullness of ear will go away. I took all the medicine that I have never taken in my life such as nose spray, steroid tablets, decongestant and antihistamine. My condition was sometime ok and sometime really bad. The worst thing is I am extreme tired, but I cannot sleep because of the unbearable uncomfortable in my left ear.

In the middle of the sleepless nights, I stood in my balcony and looking into sky and wondering why all this happened. Is God trying to send me a message? I have never had such difficult time in my life. I really wanted to just jump down from the balcony if without my family and my daughters. Living was meaningless with such horrible disease.

What was really went wrong? Looking back, I was so simple minded to jump on the dental implement bandwagon. My implement doctor is a very nice and thrusting surgeon. But she never explained to me in detail what the surgery was like. I don't even heard the term "Sinus Lift" from her, She just told me that she will put some bone under the sinus which I thought was the bone under the missing teeth. I asked her what will happen if something is wrong. She just simply said that if there were infection, the surgery will fail and everything will be back to my current status. I never thought that she will enter my sinus and actually broke a bit of my sinus membrane during surgery. Only after the surgery was finished and I sit on the surgery bed that  I realized that I made a mistake that I should not go such a hush treatment. But it was too late.

All along I have some nose issue. I am allergic in the morning and will wake up sneeze a bit. But the allergic reaction usually last for half an hour. In the day, I normally have no problem if I didn't touch dusty things or suddenly go in and out of cold and hot places. I do have three times feeling a bit of ear fullness. But they went away very quickly within 2 to 3 days.

I never expected that these problems went full balloon when after my Sinus Lift procedure. I have non stopping running nose, drainage from mouth and ear fullness. I didn't know what happened and was scared to death. Initially, my doctors thought was infection and gave me so much antibiotics. Only till very late they realized it was actually some kinds of sever allergic reaction.

Making a Drink from Lemongrass Pandan Leaves and Kaffir Lime Leaves

My lemongrass, pandan and kaffir lime grow crazily fast. I have to tidy them up very often. In order to throw away the cuttings, I use them to make a delicious drink with a lots of health benefits. Go to Google the health benefits.

This what I harvested.

This is the tea I made. 

 

The steps to make the tea are:

First wash them throughly.

Cut out the lemongrass roots. Smash them so it’s easy for them to release nutrients.

Make knots  of long lemongrass leaves.

Make knots of pandan leaves.

Pick the leaves from kaffir lime cuttings.

Put all of them into a pot.

Add a lot of water to cover them.

When it is boiling, turn to smaller fire. Cook 1 to 2 hours.

Pick the leaves out when it’s done.

This is the drink.

Add some rock sugar and honey for taste.

Pour them into glass bottles and keep them in fridge when they are cool.

Add some ice to drink. It tastes really delicious something similar to chestnut drink.

Not finished yet, don’t throw away the part with roots attached.

Plant it to have more leaves.

You can also try to root kaffir lime cuttings:

Have fun and enjoy reading!

An Easy Neat Compost Making Method for Small Space

I would like to introduce a very easy and neat compost making method from kitchen waste with a small garden or in an apartment.

1. Collect your today’s waste

Chop them to make small pieces 

Prepare a flower pot and soil, lay a layer of soil on the pot

Lay the waste on the pot

Cover the waste with soil

Cover the wastes fully with soil to prevent attracting from insets.

If you have old compost containing good worms such as earth worm or millipedes, it’s best to add them in.

I found that these worms will find way to go into the compost pot somehow even if you don’t add them.

Final step is to put a plant inside the compost pot so your garden doesn’t look ugly.

You can also use it as a vegetable storage area to store cabbages the best. There are three main benefits this way: first saving fridge space, second helping eliminate pesticides when left them under rain, third keeping the cabbages fresher.

When one pot is full, you can start another one. After about 3 months, the compost is ready. 

Gardening as my new Lifestyle

As I moved to my new home with a front and backyards, I need to spend some time to do gardening.

As all gardeners know, it’s such a rewarding and calming activity. I really enjoy it.

This is my front yard.

This is part of my backyard.

 I still need time to take time out from working with my daughter on her cello to make them into a better shape. 

While I was tidying up my over growing Indian Borage, I tried my version of Indian Borage tempura. It’s really delicious and easy to make,

The recipe is described as below. Indian borage is extremely easy to plant. Just poke a cutting into soil it will survive at 99% rate with water and a bit of sun.

Now you get the delicious tempura. The Indian Borage tastes very similar to green chili, but without spicy taste. It’s good for children.

Cheating Doctor Goh Bee Tin

If you think we should show the relevant authorities that such unscrupulous conduct should be punished, please sign the PETITION LETTER.

Dr. Goh Bee Tin 

People who have followed my blog and friends often asked me when I will be able to do more paintings after I stopped painting almost 4 years ago. I am still not sure when I am able to do it. I cannot sustain the physical demand of painting which requires long hours of working after a dental surgery 4 years ago. My left neck, down to my left shoulder and leg are in constant pain and I feel tired easily and need to rest often.

I have talked about the surgery in my blog before, I never mentioned that in my opinion I was cheated into doing the surgery. I was told and understood to do a dental surgery "bone graft surgery" but Goh Bee Tin my dental surgeon actually performed on me another much more invasive surgery "sinus lift". All I was told by her was an ordinary tooth bone graft surgery. At the last minute, I was still googling whether I should go for "tooth bone graft" surgery which was very different from "sinus graft" or "sinus lift" the surgery she performed on me. I never realized that she secretly went into my sinus and inserted bone graft inside my sinus. If not that I developed a severe reaction later due to my highly sensitive nose problem, I would never realize what she had done to me.

I complained to the relevant authorities about the unscrupulous conduct of Dr. Goh yet all of them maintained that there was no misconduct. The current director of NDCS Poon Choy Yoke even said that it was "entirely appropriate".

Before the whole thing was forgotten, I feel that I should at least record down my experience so that it was not wasted and it may serve some purposes as there were reasons such thing happened. It may also help general audiences there to identify any inappropriate behavior from their medical professionals or even serve as a good example in the textbook of how a senior doctor cheats. 

The tactics used by Dr. Goh Bee Tin on my case includes but not limited to:

[1]. Refrain from revealing the real surgery name. It is obvious nowadays if you are given the right surgery name, you would know everything. Dr. Goh Bee Tin must know very well about it and never told me that my surgery is simply called "Sinus Lift" or "Sinus Graft". She just told me that it was bone graft. She argued that she doesn't like to throw jargon at her patients.

[2]. Avoid drawing attention to where the surgery actually performed. Dr. Goh even forwent the important and detail checking on my sinus and nose health status which is critical to the surgery. As she told me later in her email that she would make referrals of her patients with sneezing problem, yet my severe chronic sneezing problem was never brought up in any of the discussions because there is no any slight awareness fro me that the surgery is related to sinus.

Why such a senior doctor failed to make me bring out my serious nose and sinus sensitive problem which was known to everyone close to me? Why other patients would tell her their sneezing problem and I didn't?

[3]. Hide the surgery name. Finally when inevitable that I need to authorize the surgery, she tactically hid the surgery name with a string of long upper case internal surgical terms. 

She used

 "MANDIBLE, ALVEOLAR DEFECT/DEFORMITY, COMPLEX ALVEOLOPLASTY - sinus lift" in the Authorization Form.  

"MANIDLE, ALVEOLAR..." blah blah has nothing to do with the sinus lift surgery.  Did she get away just because she put the small "sinus lift" at the end?

[4]. Manipulate the consent form and signing process. If you look at the consent form, it's valid for 3 months and the 1st part of the 1st page should be filled by the patient or guardian, etc. 

1st Page of the Consent Form

However, Dr. Goh asked me to sign the consent form at the last minute just before the surgery and signed in a very private room only between me and her. Even more ridiculous she didn't show me the 1st page of the consent form. She only showed me a piece of paper with only words without any diagram such as:

2nd Page of the Consent Form

She secretly filled the 1st page all by herself and claimed that she explained the content to me. During the entire signing process, she didn't utter one word except "you need to sign the consent form". There was absolutely no witness. She only said something "If you need to sneeze open your mouth" when we were walking out of the small room. I never saw the 1st page of the Consent Form. I only got a copy of it recently from court documents. From the form, you can see that she filled everything.

I developed a severe reaction to the bone graft immediately after the surgery. It ruined my left ear and neck and gradually causing my back and left leg pain. I was not able even to read bedtime stories to my young daughter for 2 years.

When I asked her to remove the bone graft, the most horrific thing was that she left the majority of the bone graft still inside my sinus in a 2nd surgery and claiming she had removed 95% to 98%. It caused continuing unbearable pain and great confusion. Only after more than half a year later I was finally clear I had to go to do a 3rd surgery to remove the remaining graft. The fiasco caused permanent terrible damage to my health from a perfectly healthy person.

If not of my young daughter I wonder if I could live till today. 

I hope the whole episode serves some useful insight to us an entire society so that it would not go down to the drainage and be wasted.

If you think we should show the relevant authorities that such unscrupulous conduct should be punished, please sign the PETITION LETTER.

康复后记

我从来没想过自己会写小说，而且一写就是将近三万字的中篇小说。

在过去的三、四个月里，隔壁家的装修没完没了，当我觉得终于快完时，电钻又响了起来，忍无可忍时，突然就写起来，而且神奇的是，当我沉浸于紫晶、修竹、子扬、书月的故事，戴着耳机听着德沃夏克B小调大提琴协奏曲时，我一点也感觉不到钻墙的声音。我忍不住曰写夜写，停顿不住，—口气就写下来了。写故事让我有一丝如上帝创造世界的感觉，那奇妙的从没有过的神秘体验！

在离开中国那么多年的曰子里，我只写过毕业论文和学术文章，而且都是用英文。自从用微信后才开始用中文交流，很多字只会说，但写不出来，得查许久方能够写下来，恼人的是有的怎么查都查不出来。

不过一写开来以后，以往的对中文字的感觉渐渐都又回到我的思维中，让我欣喜万分，鼓励自己坚持下去。

谢谢大家来访，希望我的故事让你们如我自己一样感动不已。

最后分享一段托尔斯泰的话:

“The hero of my tale, whom I love with all the power of my soul, whom I have tried to portray in all his beauty, who has been, is, and will be beautiful, is Truth.”

– Leo Tolstoy

康复 42 ---- 尾声 爱之梦

七年后，在S国文玉和丽丽那淘沙岛上临海的别墅里，正在举行一场家庭小型音乐会。

在客厅的一端是一架黑色三角钢琴，一个六、七岁文雅秀气的男孩正坐在上面，双手放在琴上看着一个十四、五岁手持大提琴的女孩，女孩在调试着大提琴，正准备演出。

客厅的另一端，地上坐着几个孩子，大人们则坐在沙发和零零散散的椅子上。女主人丽丽穿梭在人群里殷勤招呼着客人。

那一双演出的的孩子正是六月和小修竹，修竹在S国滨海湾剧院有几场演出，他们随同父母回来看望S国的亲戚朋友，趁兴给大家表演一下。

观众中除了文玉、丽丽、紫晶和修竹一些亲朋好友，还有子扬书月、齐小渠、赵志钢医生和他那甜美的药剂师夫人。

书月依偎在子扬身边，他们一起低声与几个客人愉快安详地交谈着，看起来除了多一份沧桑他们与以前没有二样。

子扬和书月的孩子，一个和果果极像的女孩，坐在地上，双眼放着光—动不动看着六月。

S国五年一度的大选又将开始，齐小渠看着小修竹和六月，感叹地说，要是他们到我的选区开几个音乐会就好了。

六月拉的是她喜欢的李斯特的《爱之梦》。年纪小小的小修竹，钢琴造诣己非常高超，给姐姐伴奏己绰绰有余了。

随着六月《爱之梦》又悲伤又甜美的大提琴乐曲响起，人人都安静了下来，人群中，紫晶坐着轻轻靠在修竹身上，把手放在修竹手心里任修竹握着，她还是那么优雅超凡，而且比以前更多了几分从容。

修竹和紫晶双眼闪闪发亮，无比骄傲地看着两个他们心爱的孩子。

康复 41 ---- 新生活

紫晶匆匆赶到赵医生的办公室，她己猜到了赵医生的电话一定是跟郭碧婷有关，她在家里找到那瓶N城医生朱云峰给的装那晶体填充物的小瓶，顺手放在包里随身带了来。

赵志钢医生的办公室在中心医院一座楼的13层。紫晶得穿过几座楼才能到达。—路上，医院过道里人头济济，病人、医护人员、探访者，匆匆忙忙，来来往往。

紫晶看着眼前的人流，想起曾经几乎每隔几天就得来医院的日子，那时心情万般灰暗沉重，无法想象能有今天轻盈自在。健康只有失去过，才知道它的价值。

赵医生在办公室等紫晶。他一见到紫晶，顿时万分惊喜，张开手紧紧与紫晶握了握。他说，你焕然一新，与以前判若二人。

紫晶说，谢谢赵医生，多亏了你的帮助。

赵医生摆摆手说都是朱云峰医生功劳。谈到朱云峰，他说，今天找你来是想跟你商量—件事。

他沉思了一会说，你也许听说郭碧婷医生有点麻烦，她对你的事感到抱歉，如果可以的话，她可以当面向你道歉。

虽然紫晶如今还留有不少那场致命手术后遗症，比如肩颈部有时疼痛难忍，可是发生了的事，道歉又有何用？何况，她真的不想再见到那个女人。

其实，她想她应该感激这个女人，如果不是这场手术，她又怎能与修竹相知相爱？ 想到这里，她毫不犹豫地拿出来那个小瓶，递给志钢说，你拿着吧，她不用道歉，我与她己无任何关联，你劝她好自为知，不要再害别的病人就行了。

说完，她又感谢志钢并告诉他她会很快去C国，在互道保重声中她告辞了这位她无比敬重的医生出来。

几周后，修竹、紫晶带着六月离开S国，来到地球另一端太平洋岸边C国的V城，在一幢青瓦白墙的小洋房里建立了一个修竹所渴望的真真的家。

这房里终曰琴声缭绕，不久，又多了一个婴孩的哭声。紫晶就在S国时，唯一的那次与修竹一起的晚上，几乎与书月同时，怀上了一个小修竹。

小修竹后来着迷的却是妈妈的钢琴。

如果你不相信世上有夫妻从不吵架、从不恶言相对，那如果你认识修竹夫妇，你一定会改变你的想法。

如果你有前世修来的福，能与一个认识了千年万年的人有缘相聚，和谐得就象高山流水，白云蓝天，一切顺理成章，不管多大的风暴，多危的险滩，只要一心一意，没有过不去的关，跨不过去的坎，而且靠的都是与生俱来的对彼此的了解爱护，就像你的心、你的生命。如果是这样，你是有福之人，为有幸拥有生命中最完美的境界，对那至高无上的造物者以千万分之虔诚和感恩之心，顶礼莫拜吧！

康复 40 ----- 章宜监狱

紫晶和修竹的行程已定了下来，他们既兴奋又紧张，忙碌着告别和开始异国他乡新生活的琐事。

首先紫晶约了书月一起去看子扬。

那天看到书月时，紫晶顿时放心下来，书月神彩奕奕，面带微笑。紫晶知道她己从悲痛中走出来了，无比欣慰。书月还害羞告诉她，她己有三个月身孕了。哇！紫晶顿时大叫，感谢上帝！她连连感恩，太好了！

紫晶又问，子扬知道吗？书月说，今天我们一起给他一个惊喜！

好啊，紫晶搂住书月，不知道子扬会有怎样反应呢？ 两个女人高兴得跟孩子一样。

她们一起到了位于S国东部的有着一个好听的叫章宜的监狱。紫晶第一次来到这种地方，被高高的围墙和森严的大门惊住了。她拘谨地告诉了监狱官她们与陆子扬约好了。

监狱官却非常和气，看她们小心翼翼的样子，微笑着说，陆子扬访客太多了。又开玩笑，象他这样的人再多几个，我们这里犯人都会好过外面人啰！你知道吗？他一来，这里再也没有坏人了！再坏的人见了他都老老实实，真神奇！

紫晶觉得她话好笑，又觉得句句是实话。

她们在一个会客室里等着，不一会，子扬神采飞扬地与两个监狱官走了进来，与她们打招呼，隔着桌子坐了下来。

趁书月与子扬急切交谈时，紫晶细看子扬，他穿着淡蓝色衬衫，头发短而整齐，精神焕发，眼中和微笑里虽然掩藏不了淡淡的忧伤，但还是那紫晶无比熟悉的微笑和清澈没有遮掩的眼睛，那么的富有感染力和真诚，让你一下子就放松自在，怎么也看不出象个囚犯。

子扬问紫晶一家可好，紫晶说不久她就要去C国。子扬听了，顿时无语，明显看出来笑容也掩盖不了的伤感。良久，他才说保持联系，多回来看看家人朋友。

快要到探望规定的结束时间，紫晶推了一下书月，快说吧！

书月这才害羞告诉子扬她又有孩子了。子扬顿时脸放光彩，谢谢你书月，他不停地说，好好照顾自己。书月说，你放心吧，爸妈会帮我的，我会照顾好自己，你也当心。

监狱官们己不停地催她们走，她们这才依依不舍跟子扬告别而回。

回来的路上，紫晶满心欢喜，为子扬和书月。她知道，无论在哪里，无论怎样的逆境，子扬永远不会倒下去。

回到家里时，紫晶突然收到一封卫生部的信，说是得知紫晶曾是郭碧婷医生的病人，他们想找她了解一些情况，留了电话，让紫晶打过去。

正在此时，紫晶接到赵志钢医生的电话，他说他想跟紫晶谈谈。